1 year on...

Sorry for the super big hiatus, let my blog sleep for 1 year plus.

22/10/10

O level is starting, im very nervous... Its as if im being judged upon by the world... Scary...

But nevertheless, I will overcome it(=

After o level, I play n play, find a job as a temporary waiter mainly working in resort world sentosa.

31/12/10

1st time to work as waiter, which is in dire shortage due to the large amount of convention held before new year. Did nt spend time with my family, instead I spent time to chat with friends while working, n also a bit of eating too

ard feb 2011

JC curriculum starts ard this time, n im still wondering why im in JC in the first place, cos im merely 2 marks away from my desired course in poly? Yet im reluctant to be going for selection to be the exclusive few initial failures to enter the course. But studying in JC is tough, yet time passes quickly, as promos are over for me now.

6/10/11, 1.10am

As im typing my post here, my mind is overwhelming with thoughts. When can I really grow up? Are my classmates really make me feel better, or worse? Can I pass my promos? Can I shake off whatever that is undesirable from me, n keep whatever that is essential for my future?

Can i be more disciplined to be able to focus on the truly impt stuffs...? etc etc

I cant even sleep properly when all these thoughts come to my mind...

Eye bags grow, tired spirit, desire to hack care of all the happenings...

In a dilemma, I become so fickle-minded, I get into trouble without solving any of them...

I cant decide for anything, sitting on the fence is the only thing i noe how to do...

If there is a place i can escape to, it will be the heaven...

Relaxing(=

Finally, I took out my PS2 again, in an attempt to bring down my stress level...
My all-time favourite PS2 game: Devil may cry 3
Anyway, im forced to play that cos my mama dun wanna return me my PSP...
hahas, btw, anyone wan to go East Coast Park?(=

If my class(4D) is united...

Tension stirring among the classmates...
its just the usual stuff lurking within the class...
but why doesnt it appear so obviously in the other classes?
But thinking of lack of unity in my class,
i realised whatever classes that I enters, the classes will always show great lack of unity...
1E/2E/3D/4D - All of them made me realised that those who try to move into the society circles can nv really make it...
One mistake, and expected others to classify you as 'tainted' blood
I think the others look at me like im 'stained' with impure blood liddat...
LOL...talked too much abt blood 'stains'
But classrooms r the same as the outside environment
which the environment is the replica of the battlefield
so I cant even expect to see partly unity, no need to talk abt how the class can bond tgt...
After all, my class being united will be of wishful thinking...

Dream of a naive child

After long time of hiatus, i hav returned to this blog...
For the opening, I just wan to talk abt my hope for this world...
This also means that i dun believe in the end of world in 2012(thats just a crap)
Earth has survived billion of years, and will survive billions of years to come

While Earth survive, things will get nasty:
Millions of children are born, yet millions of people died at the same time...
New invention appeared in this world, only to see old inventions being thrown away...
New nations rise to the top, with old nations being slammed to the bottom...

But these will also represent sth positive:
The replacement brings in new hope for the whole with a whole new different generation
New invention open up new segments of hope and achievements
Different nations' rise to power changes the system of running the world

If all these things are meant to be, why do we need to be sad about them?
We may not be able to change these things, or even realise their existence
But we can work around its borders, by making life's borderless
So no matter what are the obstacles, we will make our dream come true-a better world

Wont be posting here for time being...

hahas...Its abt time i shldnt look at my past, n this blog really made me tink abt all the past memories...sometimes im just too emo to look at this blog rotting, but i hav to let it go, cos i nid to focus...FOCUS on my O level!!! Everyone, u all must pluck up strength to work hard then get good results... Bye, till then...

Nice badminton, but...

Wahahas...i almost got kenna thrashed by a sec 1 boy for badminton match, wat a shame...
oh ya, class today was so boring...feel like playing pokemon crystal, but scared my hp kenna spoiled, cos its on the verge of breakdown...I WAN A NEW HP!!!
Haiz...just dun noe why...got a call from my friend ytd saying its a must to take test tomoro...
but nvm, i cannot go badminton, just go test lor...no big deal...
I wont wan to get into trouble wif the sch...
then today i ask my cher, n he allowed me to take on thurs...YES!!!
But in this way, how am i gonna tell them i changed my ming agn?
Third time leh, i still nid my face leh...
but nevertheless, i dared to ask if i can come...T_T
so go lor, nv realise got so many ppl i dun noe...hahas
srry abt my tone today, hav medicine that day...
so play play, energy run out fast when i play 1st time...
but everything is easily adapted for me...everything no problem(=
maybe they all must hav wondered if im the uninvited guest...
but nvm la...my own fault la...but i hav so much fun, i cant bear to leave...really...

My 2007 favourite korean drams(random now...)

Today i on com, i had the craving to watch these two not-so-old drams...

The first king of four gods(Cna someone cut short the name???)
The main lead so handsome!!!(lol)

Likeable or not aka I hate you, but its fine

(who the hell gave the drams two names, so confusing...)

Just basically tell u all abt these two dramas ba...

1st one abt the prince who is destined to become a king yet had to ended up dying...

got this four loyal guards, also destined...

2nd one abt a retarded guy loving a pretty girl..

lol, hopefully this happens in real world, but haiz...(fake 1 la...)

ONE MORE, ILJIMAE!!!

im waiting impatiently for the next series, the return of iljimae...

cant find any video that has english sub though T_T

ECP wif my fellow ex-cca mates

Stingrays(=

My foot is so hot!!!

Nice foot at its rest...

Went to East Coast Park today(=

Look at the sky, look down on the sand...

Wow, its been a year i ever touch the outdoor water pool...

So relaxing...=_=zzz

Then play play wif friends, thats always the case after all...

Plus cycle tgt, until i returned my bike n they continued cycling...

Kenna cheated la, but at least i found a more windy spot(=

Winds blew past me, bringing all the sorrow away from me...

then slack at McD, while they had their dinner, then arcade there we went...

YES!!!Thrash them until they took out their amusement passes, thats when i started losing...)=

Looking out the arcade centre, turning dark le...

"Walao, 7.30pm liao le, go home cfm kenna scolded..."

So there we go, back to our nest...0_0

Bright days are indeed enchanting to our mind(=

Test over le(=

Omg, i like this picture!!! but the video is still much better(=

Was wondering if i shld put that on my msn display picture though...

Haiz, lets just talk abt my Prelim 1 ba...

1)MT:

Appearing to be easy, yet i hav a feeling its not as easy as thought...

But nevertheless, i just did it, no marks given just by thinking...

2)Eng:

Another paper which appeared easy...

For paper 1, I think i just wrote out of point...

Wanting to write on (how someone inspired me to do what i nv had done b4)...

Write until the main character inspired the wrong way, then changed to (confusion)...

I tink i write out of point...

-My eng essay storyline: Confusion

---Main character: I/me/watashi(me in jap)

---Female lead: Sarah (previously i wrote as Celine)

---Female lead's bf: Snow (what usual name...)

Created with watashi dreaming of loving the female, only to be tricked by the female lead T_T

If u wan the full story, wait for my paper to come back...

I scared i failed that part, cos im sure i kinda wrote VERY out of point...

3)Combined Humanities(SS/Hist)

Its obvious i nv finish both paper...T_T

Haiz, must faster finish the sbq nxt time(took 1 hr currently)

But nevertheless, i must move on, for Prelim part 2, the ultimate calculation test(=_=)

Shall I throw my past away as well?

This world is unfair, not fair!!!

Whatever, today damn unglam...esp when i had to get angry...
My friends kenna had a fight with another person today...
Of cos i joined in, since i tink that person hav to stop kaobeiing...
then the sch gathered to watch the dramatic event...
N I HATE AUDIENCE!!!!
I suddenly flew into rage, which nv happened for quite a long time alr...
Wanna punch him in the face, only to be stopped by ppl...
Aiya, just hope he can understand that hes in the wrong...
But who cares? I nid to continue studying, that person is nothing, really...

With determination, i fly...

Ok...gonna update again...
Wed:
WTH, why of all times muz there be a ss remedial aft sch?! so i sat there draw draw draw...
nv listen to the lesson though, cos no notes!!! my file was with that @%#$ chers!!!
Thursday:
Thought of going to watch movie aft long day of boring lesson, but in the end, decided to go home instead...Its useless ba...damn tired le...
Friday:
went out with my friends to play arcade games agn? I dun wan liao la...
so went to watch movie(Diary of a Wimpy kid), n its nice(=
a lot of american-style jokes, though i cant fully understand their humour...
n its funny... i dun noe cheese can be used as a curse...wahahaha
Today:
Walao, so much tuition, will nv look forward to today, for god's sake!!!
saw nadd today, after my last tuition(= thats a morale boost for me=D
but nevertheless, i still go to sleep...zzz
as u can see, im on com now...
Muz finish my 4 essays tomoro, even though its impossible 4 me...
Just hope pigs can fly...byes

No prefect life...

Today i started to reflect alot of wat i did in the last 4 years...
This is what i found out:
-I regreted choosing NPCC as my CCA, but i got a lot of close friends there(=
-Im not 100% sociable, but im lucky to hav close friends by my side...
-I had spent too much time on my unsuccessful attempts to study well...
-I had always let my bro to do watever he wans...
-I spent too much time slacking, too little time exercising n studying...
-I spent too much time on com...
-Im not really interested in everything i do; just try hard to listen n hate doing it...
Whatever, I believed i will change all these...someday
->Yesterday:
Reach home n accidently kicked my toes onto the table...This time its seriously painful, compared to the other times which they all recovered fast...
->Today:
I attended motivational talks fr 8am to 6pm...Basically, cos of my foot sprain, i limped all the while in sch...will be limping 4 the nxt few days...The motivational talks let me realise wat i shld hav done years ago, even though i dun get much motivation from it...)=
Overall, i prefered the long n sleepy lecturing compared to the activities...really...
met a doctor at night, n OUCH!!! so painful, but TCM doctor really does better at these, will be ready n jumping by nxt wk..hopefully, b4 i accidently sprain my toes agn...
->Tomoro:
Will be attending the second part of motivational talks...hope this works...
But i tink its most likely be boring...)=
afterwards i gonna spend my time in msia till sunday nite...n its not for the good things...
OMG, wat abt my hw???
->Sunday:
-----------Something personal----------------

Not looking forward to nxt wk

unless i finished the stack of outstanding hws....

End of Term 1 holidays...

Ok..this is it...Term 2 starts tomoro...
Just regret i nv study in the march holidays...
n also nv do all the hw in time...most likely will owe a lof of hw...
But nvm, coming sch term, im pumped up to do the impossible...hopefully...
Whether is possible or impossible, i hav to make it, or face a bleak future...
WHATEVER!!!
This is so irritating...school days n holidays
Always get to regret watever things i did...
Theres nothing that i dun regret doing...
Wats life when i cant be proud of wat im doing???
In the past, present n future...

WoW!! Damn nice day(=

Today i went out with my friends again(=
of cos its really nice, being able to hav fun again...
but to leave my undone hw back at home, it just hurts me...
Play play play, maybe i almost become senseless of all the worries
but its just temporary...)=
After all the arcade games, im still back to square one...
Whatever it is, i tink i nid to solve whatever problem i have now...
(N arcade games r really expensiveT_T, causing me $40++ today...)
But its a memorable experience, cos i had fun with friends, much better than playing at home all alone...

cos this world is interesting becos of the variety of ppl(=

Holidays rocks(=

YA!!! Finally...
CT1 finally over n its the start of March holidays(=
Finally im free from long n boring lessons...
n time to adjust my biological clock, since it went out of control...
plus to catch up on EVERYTHING, esp when i see my report book i wanna vomit...
L1R4=24
L1R5=30
No more face le...maybe nid to sleep early plus chiong studies!!!
Gonna show my class i can excel someday, then i will hao lian until siao(=
WAHAHAHA...(too show off le...)

LOTS of hw...

I decided not to do any hw during the exam period
In the end, I got a lot of hw to do now!!!
Abt time to stop slacking, gonna stand up, chiong all hw finish, then start revising full time...
Its abt time i shld leave sth undone, while i nid to conclude sth as quick as possible...
To summarise my results, it SUX!!!
Cant continue at this slow rate, gonna be faster...
Gonna chiong now(:

Nothing is still forever...

We will always get to lose someone important to us at the wrong time...

We will always get to gain the wrong stuff at the crucial time...

That is wat we cant escape from, cos its within us...

Exams over, but more to come...

Finally my CT1 is over, but i dont feel like jumping for joy...
cos i kept thinking what a failure i am...
I think everything will flung like siao...
N i had alr failed some subs, maybe its time to tink seriously abt time management...
Enough abt lying to myself le, i nid real action which is effective n efficient enough for me to stand out in O level...
Rather than stopping a while to rest, I will continue to rush, n even faster....
I will chiong towards O level, b4 ever deciding to stop n look back...
Since its not the time to look back n reflect on all the memories...
Sooner or ever, i will be trained to focus on my studies, to ignore all unhappiness...
Maybe wat my friend indirectly means is rite:

"We might as well dun nid emotions in this world"

N this can be easily proved on almost everyone, esp me...

We build our confidence from scratch, only to break down later on, then rebuild it again, only to break down again, and so on...

This is really a torturous process, but this is reality, we cant just hide in our imaginary world forever...

-I moved from place to place, going through extreme conditions, only to find a hell-

Exams, CT1, WHAT LIFE!!!

WOW.. Its in the midway of CT1, all of us must be tired out ba...
Just hope nxt wk passed super quickly, then we will enjoy our SPA^_^
(like SPA is really that fun, cos its another test...)
i was cycling happily today, yet i found the most important thing was not there...
Its the sharing of laughter, cos im by myself...
Hmm, maybe i share my smile with the public(:
The first reply will be, "whos that siao guy smiling so widely over there?" =.="
*sigh* sianzzz, study whole day, yet find no entertainment that worth the hard work...
Just like how i blew out all the air and didnt breathe in any air liddat...
U just hav to blame the same thing again n again-my life
Without being able to change anything abt it...
then the whole cycle continued...
Maybe thats why we can get old, weak then die x_x
But nevertheless, gonna chiong for the CT1, then SPA, then...
It will never be a inwards flow, only outwards flow of energy from my body...
Jiayous everyone, release all the energy for the tests):

Two days ago, i dont feel like living on, today i feel that i nid to live on...

CT1 approaching, yet i cant help but to endure all the pains...

All the tests are approaching, n i hav no idea how to settle my own problems...
I havnt really do much to improve my subs...
I havnt really recovered from the failed attempt to confess, n its kept torturing me...
I havnt had a nice sleep this week, n i hope to sleep for eternally...
I havnt been able to think forward...
Im a little tired from building up all the good memories and seeing them being destroyed one by one, only to be replaced by all the 'empty' memories...
Im tired of all the troubles that i received, and cant find a place to release them...
Im super tired of no good rest n hope i can really get what i really wished for all the end...
Im getting bored of my sux life...
Im getting angry of my own weaknesses...
Im getting upset of all the setbacks in life...
Im getting weak from doing all things without purpose and motivations...
I just hope i can be transferred from this world to another world...
I just hope....everything is over by the time i wake up from my sleep tomoro...